Maximum-assistance view: every word above everyday vocabulary is explained at every appearance; each name is introduced at its first appearance in the chapter.

CHAPTER 3. The Spouter-Inn.

Entering that gable-ended Spouter-Inn (Going into the Spouter Inn with its pointed end wall), you found yourself in a wide, low, straggling entry with old-fashioned wainscots (you found yourself in a wide, low, rambling hallway with old-fashioned wooden panelling on the walls), reminding one of the bulwarks of some condemned old craft (which brought to mind the side walls of some old ship written off as unfit). On one side hung a very large oilpainting so thoroughly besmoked, and every way defaced (On one side hung a very large oil painting so thickly blackened by smoke and damaged in every way), that in the unequal crosslights by which you viewed it (that in the uneven light coming at it from different angles), it was only by diligent study and a series of systematic visits to it (it was only by hard study and a run of careful, planned visits to it), and careful inquiry of the neighbors, that you could any way arrive at an understanding of its purpose (and by careful questioning of the neighbours, that you could come to any understanding of what it was meant to show). Such unaccountable masses of shades and shadows (Such heaps of dark patches and shadows, with no way of accounting for them), that at first you almost thought some ambitious young artist, in the time of the New England hags (that at first you nearly thought some over-reaching young painter, back in the days of the New England witch trials), had endeavored to delineate chaos bewitched (had tried to draw a picture of total disorder under a spell). But by dint of much and earnest contemplation, and oft repeated ponderings (But by means of long and serious looking, and much repeated thinking it over), and especially by throwing open the little window towards the back of the entry (and above all by opening wide the little window at the back of the hallway), you at last come to the conclusion that such an idea, however wild, might not be altogether unwarranted (you come at last to the conclusion that such an idea, wild as it is, may not be entirely without grounds).

But what most puzzled and confounded you (But what puzzled and baffled you most) was a long, limber, portentous, black mass of something (was a long, bendy, ominous, black lump of something) hovering in the centre of the picture over three blue, dim, perpendicular lines (hanging in the middle of the picture above three blue, faint, upright lines) floating in a nameless yeast (floating in a churning white stuff nobody could name). A boggy, soggy, squitchy picture truly (A muddy, wet, sucking sort of picture indeed), enough to drive a nervous man distracted (enough to drive a jumpy man out of his mind). Yet was there a sort of indefinite, half-attained, unimaginable sublimity about it (Yet there was a kind of vague, half-reached, unimaginable grandeur about it) that fairly froze you to it (that fixed you to the spot in front of it), till you involuntarily took an oath with yourself to find out what that marvellous painting meant (until without meaning to you swore to yourself that you would find out what that amazing painting meant). Ever and anon a bright, but, alas, deceptive idea would dart you through (Every now and then a bright but, sad to say, misleading idea would flash through you).—It’s the Black Sea in a midnight gale (It is the Black Sea in a midnight storm).—It’s the unnatural combat of the four primal elements (It is the unnatural battle of the four basic elements, earth, air, fire and water).—It’s a blasted heath (It is a lightning-struck stretch of open moorland).—It’s a Hyperborean winter scene (It is a winter scene from the far frozen north).—It’s the breaking-up of the icebound stream of Time (It is the ice breaking up on the frozen river of Time). But at last all these fancies yielded to that one portentous something in the picture’s midst (But in the end all these fancies gave way to that one ominous something in the middle of the picture). That once found out, and all the rest were plain (once worked out, and all the rest was clear). But stop; does it not bear a faint resemblance to a gigantic fish? (does it not look a little like a huge fish?) even the great leviathan himself? (even the great sea monster himself?)

In fact, the artist’s design seemed this (In fact, what the painter meant seemed to be this): a final theory of my own, partly based upon the aggregated opinions of many aged persons with whom I conversed upon the subject (a settled idea of my own, based partly on the pooled opinions of many old people I talked to about it). The picture represents a Cape-Horner in a great hurricane (The picture shows a ship built for rounding Cape Horn caught in a great storm); the half-foundered ship weltering there with its three dismantled masts alone visible (the half-sunk ship rolling helplessly there with only its three stripped masts showing); and an exasperated whale, purposing to spring clean over the craft (and a maddened whale, meaning to jump clean over the ship), is in the enormous act of impaling himself upon the three mast-heads (is caught in the huge act of running himself through on the three mast tops).

The opposite wall of this entry was hung all over with a heathenish array of monstrous clubs and spears (was covered all over with a wild, unchristian display of huge clubs and spears). Some were thickly set with glittering teeth resembling ivory saws (Some were closely fitted with shining teeth like saws made of ivory); others were tufted with knots of human hair (others had bunches of human hair tied to them); and one was sickle-shaped, with a vast handle sweeping round like the segment made in the new-mown grass by a long-armed mower (and one was curved like a reaping blade, with a huge handle sweeping round like the arc a long-armed man cuts in fresh-cut grass). You shuddered as you gazed (A cold shake went through you as you stared), and wondered what monstrous cannibal and savage could ever have gone a death-harvesting with such a hacking, horrifying implement (and wondered what monstrous man-eater and wild man could ever have gone out reaping death with such a chopping, terrifying tool). Mixed with these were rusty old whaling lances and harpoons all broken and deformed (Mixed in with these were rusty old whaling spears and hunting spears, all broken and bent out of shape). Some were storied weapons (Some had stories attached to them). With this once long lance, now wildly elbowed (With this spear, once long and now bent into wild angles), fifty years ago did Nathan Swain kill fifteen whales between a sunrise and a sunset (fifty years ago Nathan Swain killed fifteen whales between one sunrise and one sunset). And that harpoon (And that whaling spear)—so like a corkscrew now (now twisted like a bottle screw)—was flung in Javan seas, and run away with by a whale (was thrown in the seas off Java and carried off by a whale), years afterwards slain off the Cape of Blanco (which was killed years later off Cape Blanco). The original iron entered nigh the tail (The spear head first went in near the tail), and, like a restless needle sojourning in the body of a man, travelled full forty feet (and, like a needle that will not stay put inside a man’s body, moved a full forty feet), and at last was found imbedded in the hump (and was found at last buried in the hump).

Crossing this dusky entry, and on through yon low-arched way (Crossing this dim hallway and on through that low curved opening)—cut through what in old times must have been a great central chimney with fireplaces all round (cut through what in the old days must have been a great chimney in the middle with fireplaces all round it)—you enter the public room (you come into the main room where people drink). A still duskier place is this, with such low ponderous beams above (This is a dimmer place still, with such low heavy roof timbers overhead), and such old wrinkled planks beneath (and such old warped floorboards underneath), that you would almost fancy you trod some old craft’s cockpits (that you would half imagine you were walking in the lower deck of some old ship), especially of such a howling night, when this corner-anchored old ark rocked so furiously (especially on a howling night like this one, when this old boat of a building, wedged into its corner, shook so hard). On one side stood a long, low, shelf-like table covered with cracked glass cases (On one side stood a long, low, shelf-like table covered with cracked glass boxes), filled with dusty rarities gathered from this wide world’s remotest nooks (filled with dusty odd things collected from the furthest corners of this wide world). Projecting from the further angle of the room stands a dark-looking den (Sticking out from the far corner of the room stands a dark little hole)—the bar—a rude attempt at a right whale’s head (a rough attempt at making it look like the head of a right whale). Be that how it may, there stands the vast arched bone of the whale’s jaw (However that may be, there stands the huge curved bone of the whale’s jaw), so wide, a coach might almost drive beneath it (so wide that a carriage could nearly drive under it). Within are shabby shelves, ranged round with old decanters, bottles, flasks (Inside are worn shelves lined with old glass bottles for wine, plain bottles and flat pocket bottles); and in those jaws of swift destruction, like another cursed Jonah (and in those jaws that mean quick ruin, like a second cursed Jonah, the man the Bible says was swallowed by a great fish) (by which name indeed they called him (which was in fact the name they gave him)), bustles a little withered old man (a little dried-up old man moves about in a rush), who, for their money, dearly sells the sailors deliriums and death (who, for their money, sells the sailors wild raving and death at a high price).

Abominable are the tumblers into which he pours his poison (Vile are the drinking glasses he pours his poison into). Though true cylinders without (Though they are true straight tubes on the outside)—within, the villanous green goggling glasses deceitfully tapered downwards to a cheating bottom (inside, the wicked bulging green glass narrowed dishonestly down to a false bottom). Parallel meridians rudely pecked into the glass, surround these footpads’ goblets (Lines running round in parallel, roughly scratched into the glass, circle these robbers’ cups). Fill to this mark, and your charge is but a penny (and it costs you only a penny); to this a penny more; and so on to the full glass (one penny more, and so on up to the full glass)—the Cape Horn measure, which you may gulp down for a shilling (the Cape Horn measure, which you can swallow down for a shilling).

Upon entering the place I found a number of young seamen gathered about a table (I found a group of young sailors gathered round a table), examining by a dim light (looking over in poor light) divers specimens of skrimshander (various pieces of the carving sailors do on whale bone and teeth). I sought the landlord, and telling him I desired to be accommodated with a room (I looked for the innkeeper and told him I wanted a room), received for answer that his house was full (and got the answer that his house was full)—not a bed unoccupied (not one bed empty). “But avast (But hold on),” he added, tapping his forehead, “you haint no objections to sharing a harpooneer’s blanket, have ye? (you have no objection to sharing a blanket with a harpooner, one of the men who throw the spear, have you?) I s’pose you are goin’ a-whalin’, so you’d better get used to that sort of thing (I suppose you are going whale hunting, so you had better get used to that sort of thing).”

I told him that I never liked to sleep two in a bed; that if I should ever do so, it would depend upon who the harpooneer might be (that if I ever did, it would depend on who the harpooner was), and that if he (the landlord) really had no other place for me, and the harpooneer was not decidedly objectionable (and the harpooner was not downright unbearable), why rather than wander further about a strange town on so bitter a night (then rather than wander about a strange town any longer on such a bitter night), I would put up with the half of any decent man’s blanket (I would make do with half of any decent man’s blanket).

“I thought so. All right; take a seat. Supper?—you want supper? Supper’ll be ready directly (Supper will be ready shortly).”

I sat down on an old wooden settle, carved all over like a bench on the Battery (I sat down on an old wooden high-backed bench, carved all over like a bench in the Battery park). At one end a ruminating tar was still further adorning it with his jack-knife (At one end a thoughtful sailor was decorating it further with his folding knife), stooping over and diligently working away at the space between his legs (bending over and working away steadily at the space between his legs). He was trying his hand at a ship under full sail, but he didn’t make much headway, I thought (He was having a go at carving a ship under full sail, but he was not getting far with it, I thought).

At last some four or five of us were summoned to our meal in an adjoining room (At last four or five of us were called to our meal in the next room). It was cold as Iceland—no fire at all—the landlord said he couldn’t afford it (the innkeeper said he could not afford it). Nothing but two dismal tallow candles, each in a winding sheet (Nothing but two gloomy candles of animal fat, each in its own wrapping of melted wax like a corpse’s shroud). We were fain to button up our monkey jackets (We were glad to button up our short thick sailors’ jackets), and hold to our lips cups of scalding tea with our half frozen fingers (and hold cups of burning hot tea to our lips with our half frozen fingers). But the fare was of the most substantial kind (But the food was of the most filling sort)—not only meat and potatoes, but dumplings; good heavens! dumplings for supper! (but boiled balls of dough, good heavens, boiled dough for supper!) One young fellow in a green box coat, addressed himself to these dumplings in a most direful manner (One young man in a green square-cut overcoat set about those dumplings in a most alarming way).

“My boy,” said the landlord, “you’ll have the nightmare to a dead sartainty (you will get a bad dream, dead certain).”

“Landlord,” I whispered, “that aint the harpooneer is it? (that is not the harpooner, is it?)”

“Oh, no,” said he, looking a sort of diabolically funny (with a wicked sort of amusement on his face), “the harpooneer is a dark complexioned chap (the harpooner is a dark-skinned fellow). He never eats dumplings (He never eats boiled balls of dough), he don’t—he eats nothing but steaks, and he likes ’em rare (he eats nothing but cuts of meat, and he likes them barely cooked).”

“The devil he does (The devil he does),” says I. “Where is that harpooneer? (Where is that spear man?) Is he here?”

“He’ll be here afore long (He will be here before long),” was the answer.

I could not help it, but I began to feel suspicious of this (I could not help it, but I began to feel uneasy about this) “dark complexioned” (dark-skinned) harpooneer (spear man, the one who throws the whaling spear). At any rate, I made up my mind that if it so turned out that we should sleep together (At any rate, I decided that if it did turn out we were to sleep in the same bed), he must undress and get into bed before I did (he must undress and get into bed before I did).

Supper over, the company went back to the bar-room (Supper finished, the company went back to the drinking room), when, knowing not what else to do with myself, I resolved to spend the rest of the evening as a looker on (not knowing what else to do with myself, I decided to spend the rest of the evening watching).

Presently a rioting noise was heard without (Soon a wild noise was heard outside). Starting up, the landlord cried, “That’s the Grampus’s crew (That is the crew of the Grampus, a ship named after a kind of whale). I seed her reported in the offing this morning (I saw her reported out in the open water this morning); a three years’ voyage, and a full ship (a three-year voyage, and the ship full of oil). Hurrah, boys; now we’ll have the latest news from the Feegees (now we shall have the latest news from the Fiji Islands).”

A tramping of sea boots was heard in the entry (A stamping of sea boots was heard in the hallway); the door was flung open (the door was thrown wide open), and in rolled a wild set of mariners enough (in came a wild enough lot of sailors). Enveloped in their shaggy watch coats (Wrapped up in their rough hairy coats for standing watch), and with their heads muffled in woollen comforters, all bedarned and ragged (and their heads wrapped in woollen scarves, all darned over and torn), and their beards stiff with icicles, they seemed an eruption of bears from Labrador (and their beards stiff with hanging ice, they looked like a burst of bears coming out of Labrador). They had just landed from their boat, and this was the first house they entered. No wonder, then, that they made a straight wake for the whale’s mouth (that they made straight for the whale’s mouth)—the bar—when the wrinkled little old Jonah, there officiating, soon poured them out brimmers all round (when the wrinkled little old Jonah, serving there, soon poured them out glasses filled to the brim all round). One complained of a bad cold in his head, upon which Jonah mixed him a pitch-like potion of gin and molasses (at which Jonah mixed him a tar-black drink of gin and dark sugar syrup), which he swore was a sovereign cure for all colds and catarrhs whatsoever (which he swore was a perfect cure for every cold and blocked nose there is), never mind of how long standing (never mind how long you had had it), or whether caught off the coast of Labrador, or on the weather side of an ice-island (or whether you caught it off the coast of Labrador or on the windward side of an iceberg).

The liquor soon mounted into their heads (The drink soon went to their heads), as it generally does even with the arrantest topers newly landed from sea (as it usually does even with the hardest drinkers just off a ship), and they began capering about most obstreperously (and they started leaping about, loud and out of hand).

I observed, however, that one of them held somewhat aloof (I noticed, though, that one of them kept a little apart), and though he seemed desirous not to spoil the hilarity of his shipmates by his own sober face (and though he seemed anxious not to spoil his shipmates’ fun with his own serious face), yet upon the whole he refrained from making as much noise as the rest (still, on the whole, he held back from making as much noise as the others). This man interested me at once; and since the sea-gods had ordained that he should soon become my shipmate (and since the gods of the sea had decided he would soon be shipmate to me) (though but a sleeping-partner one, so far as this narrative is concerned (though only a silent one, as far as this story goes)), I will here venture upon a little description of him (I will risk a short description of him here). He stood full six feet in height, with noble shoulders (He stood a full six feet tall, with fine broad shoulders), and a chest like a coffer-dam (and a chest like a watertight wall built to hold back a river). I have seldom seen such brawn in a man (I have rarely seen such muscle on a man). His face was deeply brown and burnt, making his white teeth dazzling by the contrast (His face was deep brown and burnt, which made his white teeth blazing bright next to it); while in the deep shadows of his eyes floated some reminiscences that did not seem to give him much joy (while in the deep shadows of his eyes floated memories that did not seem to give him much pleasure). His voice at once announced that he was a Southerner (His voice told you straight away that he came from the south), and from his fine stature, I thought he must be one of those tall mountaineers from the Alleghanian Ridge in Virginia (and from his fine build I thought he must be one of those tall hill men from the Allegheny mountains in Virginia). When the revelry of his companions had mounted to its height (When his companions’ wild merrymaking was at its loudest), this man slipped away unobserved (this man got away without being noticed), and I saw no more of him till he became my comrade on the sea (and I saw nothing more of him until he became my companion at sea). In a few minutes, however, he was missed by his shipmates, and being, it seems, for some reason a huge favourite with them (and being, it seems, for some reason a great favourite of theirs), they raised a cry of (they set up a shout of) “Bulkington! Bulkington! where’s Bulkington?” (they set up a shout of Bulkington, Bulkington, where is Bulkington, calling for the quiet sailor by name) and darted out of the house in pursuit of him.

It was now about nine o’clock, and the room seeming almost supernaturally quiet after these orgies (the room seeming almost unnaturally quiet after all this wild carrying-on), I began to congratulate myself upon a little plan that had occurred to me just previous to the entrance of the seamen (I began to be pleased with myself over a little plan that had come to me just before the sailors came in).

No man prefers to sleep two in a bed (No man would rather share a bed). In fact, you would a good deal rather not sleep with your own brother (you would much rather not share a bed with your own brother). I don’t know how it is, but people like to be private when they are sleeping (but people like to be by themselves when they are asleep). And when it comes to sleeping with an unknown stranger, in a strange inn, in a strange town, and that stranger a harpooneer (and that stranger a whaling spear man), then your objections indefinitely multiply (then your objections pile up without end). Nor was there any earthly reason why I as a sailor should sleep two in a bed, more than anybody else (Nor was there any earthly reason why I, being a sailor, should have to share a bed any more than anyone else); for sailors no more sleep two in a bed at sea, than bachelor Kings do ashore (because sailors share a bed at sea no more than unmarried kings do on land). To be sure they all sleep together in one apartment (Certainly they all sleep together in one room), but you have your own hammock (but you have your own hanging canvas bed), and cover yourself with your own blanket, and sleep in your own skin.

The more I pondered over this harpooneer (The more I thought over this spear man), the more I abominated the thought of sleeping with him (the more I hated the thought of sharing a bed with him). It was fair to presume that being a harpooneer, his linen or woollen, as the case might be, would not be of the tidiest (It was fair to assume that, being a spear man, his shirts or his woollens, whichever he wore, would not be the cleanest), certainly none of the finest (and certainly not the finest). I began to twitch all over (I began to itch and jerk all over). Besides, it was getting late, and my decent harpooneer ought to be home and going bedwards (and my respectable spear man ought to be home and heading for bed). Suppose now, he should tumble in upon me at midnight (Suppose now he came falling in on top of me at midnight)—how could I tell from what vile hole he had been coming? (how could I tell what filthy hole he had come from?)

“Landlord! I’ve changed my mind about that harpooneer (I have changed my mind about that spear man).—I shan’t sleep with him (I will not share a bed with him). I’ll try the bench here (I will try the bench here).”

“Just as you please; I’m sorry I can’t spare ye a tablecloth for a mattress (I am sorry I cannot give you a tablecloth to lie on), and it’s a plaguy rough board here (and this is a cursed rough plank)”—feeling of the knots and notches (feeling over the hard lumps and cuts in the wood). “But wait a bit, Skrimshander; I’ve got a carpenter’s plane there in the bar (I have got a woodworker’s smoothing tool over in the bar)—wait, I say, and I’ll make ye snug enough (and I will make you comfortable enough).” So saying he procured the plane (Saying that, he fetched the smoothing tool); and with his old silk handkerchief first dusting the bench, vigorously set to planing away at my bed (and, first dusting the bench with his old silk handkerchief, set to work energetically shaving my bed smooth), the while grinning like an ape (grinning like an ape all the time). The shavings flew right and left (The thin curls of wood flew left and right); till at last the plane-iron came bump against an indestructible knot (until at last the blade hit a hard lump in the wood that would not give way). The landlord was near spraining his wrist (The innkeeper nearly wrenched his wrist), and I told him for heaven’s sake to quit (and I told him for heaven’s sake to stop)—the bed was soft enough to suit me, and I did not know how all the planing in the world could make eider down of a pine plank (and I did not see how all the smoothing in the world could turn a pine plank into soft feathers). So gathering up the shavings with another grin, and throwing them into the great stove in the middle of the room, he went about his business, and left me in a brown study (and left me deep in gloomy thought).

I now took the measure of the bench (I now measured the bench), and found that it was a foot too short; but that could be mended with a chair (but that could be fixed with a chair). But it was a foot too narrow, and the other bench in the room was about four inches higher than the planed one (and the other bench in the room was about four inches higher than the smoothed one)—so there was no yoking them (so there was no joining the two together). I then placed the first bench lengthwise along the only clear space against the wall, leaving a little interval between, for my back to settle down in (leaving a small gap between them for my back to sink into). But I soon found that there came such a draught of cold air over me from under the sill of the window (that such a stream of cold air came over me from under the window ledge), that this plan would never do at all, especially as another current from the rickety door met the one from the window (especially since another draught from the shaky door met the one from the window), and both together formed a series of small whirlwinds in the immediate vicinity of the spot where I had thought to spend the night (and the two together made a set of little spinning winds right where I had planned to spend the night).

The devil fetch that harpooneer (The devil take that spear man), thought I, but stop, couldn’t I steal a march on him (could I not get in ahead of him)—bolt his door inside, and jump into his bed, not to be wakened by the most violent knockings? (lock his door from the inside and jump into his bed, and not be woken by the loudest banging?) It seemed no bad idea; but upon second thoughts I dismissed it (but on second thoughts I dropped the idea). For who could tell but what the next morning, so soon as I popped out of the room (Because who could say whether the next morning, the moment I put my head out of the room), the harpooneer might be standing in the entry, all ready to knock me down! (the spear man might be standing in the hallway all ready to knock me down!)

Still, looking round me again, and seeing no possible chance of spending a sufferable night unless in some other person’s bed (and seeing no possible chance of a bearable night except in somebody else’s bed), I began to think that after all I might be cherishing unwarrantable prejudices against this unknown harpooneer (I began to think that perhaps I was nursing unfair ideas against this spear man I had never met). Thinks I, I’ll wait awhile; he must be dropping in before long (he must be turning up before long). I’ll have a good look at him then, and perhaps we may become jolly good bedfellows after all (and perhaps we will turn out to share a bed very happily after all)—there’s no telling.

But though the other boarders kept coming in by ones, twos, and threes (But though the other lodgers kept coming in one at a time and in twos and threes), and going to bed, yet no sign of my harpooneer (still no sign of my spear man).

“Landlord!” said I, “what sort of a chap is he (what sort of fellow is he)—does he always keep such late hours? (does he always stay out this late?)” It was now hard upon twelve o’clock (It was now close to midnight).

The landlord chuckled again with his lean chuckle (The innkeeper laughed again with his thin little laugh), and seemed to be mightily tickled at something beyond my comprehension (and seemed hugely amused at something I could not follow). “No,” he answered, “generally he’s an early bird (usually he is up early)—airley to bed and airley to rise (early to bed and early to rise)—yes, he’s the bird what catches the worm (he is the bird that catches the worm). But to-night he went out a peddling, you see (But tonight he went out selling from door to door, you see), and I don’t see what on airth keeps him so late (and I cannot see what on earth is keeping him so late), unless, may be, he can’t sell his head (unless, maybe, he cannot sell his head).”

“Can’t sell his head?—What sort of a bamboozingly story is this you are telling me? (What sort of tricking story is this you are telling me?)” getting into a towering rage (working myself into a towering rage). “Do you pretend to say, landlord (Do you mean to tell me, innkeeper), that this harpooneer is actually engaged this blessed Saturday night (that this spear man is actually busy this blessed Saturday night), or rather Sunday morning, in peddling his head around this town? (going round this town selling his head?)”

“That’s precisely it (That is exactly it),” said the landlord, “and I told him he couldn’t sell it here, the market’s overstocked (and I told him he could not sell it here, there is too much of it on the market already).”

“With what?” shouted I.

“With heads to be sure; ain’t there too many heads in the world? (With heads, of course, are there not too many heads in the world?)”

“I tell you what it is, landlord,” said I quite calmly, “you’d better stop spinning that yarn to me (you had better stop telling me that tall tale)—I’m not green (I am not a fool who will swallow anything).”

“May be not,” taking out a stick and whittling a toothpick (taking out a stick and carving a toothpick out of it), “but I rayther guess you’ll be done (but I rather think you will be done) brown if that ere harpooneer hears you a slanderin’ his head (if that spear man hears you speaking ill of his head).”

“I’ll break it for him (I will break it for him),” said I, now flying into a passion again at this unaccountable farrago of the landlord’s (flying into a temper again at this senseless jumble of the innkeeper’s).

“It’s broke a’ready (It is broken already),” said he.

“Broke,” said I—“broke, do you mean?”

“Sartain, and that’s the very reason he can’t sell it, I guess (Certain, and that is the very reason he cannot sell it, I reckon).”

“Landlord,” said I, going up to him as cool as Mt. Hecla in a snow-storm (going up to him as cool as an Iceland fire mountain in a snowstorm)—“landlord, stop whittling (stop carving). You and I must understand one another, and that too without delay (and without delay too). I come to your house and want a bed; you tell me you can only give me half a one; that the other half belongs to a certain harpooneer (that the other half belongs to a certain spear man). And about this harpooneer, whom I have not yet seen (And about this spear man, whom I have not seen yet), you persist in telling me the most mystifying and exasperating stories (you keep on telling me the most baffling and infuriating stories) tending to beget in me an uncomfortable feeling towards the man whom you design for my bedfellow (which are likely to breed in me an uneasy feeling about the man you intend me to share a bed with)—a sort of connexion, landlord, which is an intimate and confidential one in the highest degree (a sort of tie, innkeeper, which is as close and as private as any there is). I now demand of you to speak out (I now insist that you speak plainly) and tell me who and what this harpooneer is, and whether I shall be in all respects safe to spend the night with him (and whether I shall be safe in every way spending the night with him). And in the first place, you will be so good as to unsay that story about selling his head (you will be so kind as to take back that story about selling his head), which if true I take to be good evidence that this harpooneer is stark mad (which, if it is true, I take as solid proof that this spear man is raving mad), and I’ve no idea of sleeping with a madman (and I have no intention of sharing a bed with a madman); and you, sir, you I mean, landlord, you, sir, by trying to induce me to do so knowingly (by trying to talk me into it while knowing the truth), would thereby render yourself liable to a criminal prosecution (would by doing so lay yourself open to being charged with a crime).”

“Wall,” said the landlord, fetching a long breath (drawing a long breath), “that’s a purty long sarmon for a chap that rips a little now and then (that is a pretty long sermon for a fellow who swears a bit now and then). But be easy, be easy (But take it easy, take it easy), this here harpooneer I have been tellin’ you of (this spear man I have been telling you about) has just arrived from the south seas (has just got back from the southern seas), where he bought up a lot of ’balmed New Zealand heads (where he bought up a lot of preserved New Zealand heads) (great curios, you know (great collector’s pieces, you know)), and he’s sold all on ’em but one (and he has sold all of them but one), and that one he’s trying to sell to-night, cause to-morrow’s Sunday, and it would not do to be sellin’ human heads about the streets when folks is goin’ to churches (because tomorrow is Sunday, and it would not do to be selling human heads round the streets while people are going to church). He wanted to, last Sunday, but I stopped him just as he was goin’ out of the door with four heads strung on a string (but I stopped him just as he was going out of the door with four heads threaded on a string), for all the airth like a string of inions (for all the world like a string of onions).”

This account cleared up the otherwise unaccountable mystery (This explanation cleared up what had otherwise made no sense at all), and showed that the landlord, after all, had had no idea of fooling me (had had no thought of making a fool of me)—but at the same time what could I think of a harpooneer (what could I think of a spear man) who stayed out of a Saturday night clean into the holy Sabbath (who stayed out on a Saturday night right into the holy day of rest), engaged in such a cannibal business as selling the heads of dead idolators? (busy with such a man-eating trade as selling the heads of dead people who worshipped idols?)

“Depend upon it, landlord, that harpooneer is a dangerous man (You can be sure of it, innkeeper, that spear man is a dangerous man).”

“He pays reg’lar (He pays regularly),” was the rejoinder (came the reply). “But come, it’s getting dreadful late, you had better be turning flukes (you had better be turning in for the night)—it’s a nice bed; Sal and me slept in that ere bed the night we were spliced (Sal and I slept in that very bed the night we were married). There’s plenty of room for two to kick about in that bed; it’s an almighty big bed that (that is a mighty big bed). Why, afore we give it up, Sal used to put our Sam and little Johnny in the foot of it (Why, before we gave it up, Sal used to put our Sam and little Johnny at the foot of it). But I got a dreaming and sprawling about one night (But I got to dreaming and thrashing about one night), and somehow, Sam got pitched on the floor, and came near breaking his arm (and somehow Sam got thrown onto the floor and nearly broke his arm). Arter that, Sal said it wouldn’t do (After that, Sal said it would not do). Come along here, I’ll give ye a glim in a jiffy (I will get you a light in a moment);” and so saying he lighted a candle and held it towards me, offering to lead the way. But I stood irresolute (But I stood there unable to decide); when looking at a clock in the corner, he exclaimed (he cried out) “I vum it’s Sunday (I declare, it is Sunday)—you won’t see that harpooneer to-night (you will not see that spear man tonight); he’s come to anchor somewhere (he has dropped anchor somewhere)—come along then; do come; won’t ye come?”

I considered the matter a moment, and then up stairs we went, and I was ushered into a small room, cold as a clam (and then upstairs we went, and I was shown into a small room, cold as a shellfish), and furnished, sure enough, with a prodigious bed (and furnished, sure enough, with an enormous bed), almost big enough indeed for any four harpooneers to sleep abreast (big enough, in fact, for four spear men to sleep in a row).

“There,” said the landlord, placing the candle on a crazy old sea chest that did double duty as a wash-stand and centre table (putting the candle down on a shaky old sea chest that served both as a washing table and as the table in the middle of the room); “there, make yourself comfortable now, and good night to ye (make yourself comfortable now, and good night to you).” I turned round from eyeing the bed, but he had disappeared (I turned away from looking at the bed, but he had gone).

Folding back the counterpane, I stooped over the bed (Turning back the bedcover, I bent over the bed). Though none of the most elegant, it yet stood the scrutiny tolerably well (Though it was nothing fine, it held up to a close look fairly well). I then glanced round the room; and besides the bedstead and centre table (apart from the bed frame and the table in the middle), could see no other furniture belonging to the place, but a rude shelf, the four walls, and a papered fireboard representing a man striking a whale (but a rough shelf, the four walls, and a papered board across the fireplace with a picture on it of a man spearing a whale). Of things not properly belonging to the room, there was a hammock lashed up, and thrown upon the floor in one corner (there was a hanging canvas bed tied up and tossed on the floor in one corner); also a large seaman’s bag, containing the harpooneer’s wardrobe (also a big sailor’s bag holding all the spear man’s clothes), no doubt in lieu of a land trunk (no doubt instead of a travelling case for use on land). Likewise, there was a parcel of outlandish bone fish hooks on the shelf over the fire-place (there was a bundle of strange-looking bone fish hooks on the shelf above the fireplace), and a tall harpoon standing at the head of the bed (and a tall whaling spear standing at the head of the bed).

But what is this on the chest? I took it up, and held it close to the light, and felt it, and smelt it (and put my nose to it), and tried every way possible to arrive at some satisfactory conclusion concerning it (and tried every way I could to reach some satisfying idea of what it was). I can compare it to nothing but a large door mat (I can compare it to nothing but a big mat for wiping your feet at a door), ornamented at the edges with little tinkling tags (decorated round the edges with little tags that make a small ringing sound) something like the stained porcupine quills round an Indian moccasin (something like the dyed spines of a porcupine round a native soft leather shoe). There was a hole or slit in the middle of this mat (There was a hole or cut in the middle of this mat), as you see the same in South American ponchos (the same as you see in South American cloaks that go over the head). But could it be possible that any sober harpooneer would get into a door mat (But could it be that any sober spear man would climb into a door mat), and parade the streets of any Christian town in that sort of guise? (and march the streets of a Christian town got up like that?) I put it on, to try it, and it weighed me down like a hamper (I put it on to try it, and it weighed me down like a big loaded basket), being uncommonly shaggy and thick (being unusually hairy and thick), and I thought a little damp, as though this mysterious harpooneer had been wearing it of a rainy day (as though this mysterious spear man had been wearing it on a wet day). I went up in it to a bit of glass stuck against the wall (I went over in it to a piece of mirror fixed on the wall), and I never saw such a sight in my life. I tore myself out of it in such a hurry that I gave myself a kink in the neck (I ripped myself out of it in such a rush that I twisted my neck).

I sat down on the side of the bed, and commenced thinking about this head-peddling harpooneer (and started thinking about this head-selling spear man), and his door mat. After thinking some time on the bed-side, I got up and took off my monkey jacket (I got up and took off my short thick sailor’s jacket), and then stood in the middle of the room thinking. I then took off my coat, and thought a little more in my shirt sleeves (and thought a bit more with only my shirt on). But beginning to feel very cold now, half undressed as I was (But starting to feel very cold now, half undressed as I was), and remembering what the landlord said about the harpooneer’s not coming home (remembering what the innkeeper said about the spear man not coming home) at all that night, it being so very late, I made no more ado (it being so very late, I made no more fuss), but jumped out of my pantaloons and boots (but jumped out of my trousers and boots), and then blowing out the light tumbled into bed (and then, blowing out the light, tumbled into bed), and commended myself to the care of heaven (and put myself in heaven’s keeping).

Whether that mattress was stuffed with corn-cobs or broken crockery, there is no telling (Whether that mattress was stuffed with corn cobs or broken plates, there is no saying), but I rolled about a good deal, and could not sleep for a long time (but I rolled about a good deal and could not sleep for a long while). At last I slid off into a light doze (At last I slipped into a light sleep), and had pretty nearly made a good offing towards the land of Nod (and had nearly got well out to sea towards the land of sleep), when I heard a heavy footfall in the passage (when I heard a heavy footstep in the corridor), and saw a glimmer of light come into the room from under the door (and saw a faint light come into the room from under the door).

Lord save me, thinks I, that must be the harpooneer (that must be the spear man), the infernal head-peddler (the hellish head-seller). But I lay perfectly still, and resolved not to say a word till spoken to (But I lay perfectly still and made up my mind not to say a word until spoken to). Holding a light in one hand, and that identical New Zealand head in the other (and that same New Zealand head in the other), the stranger entered the room, and without looking towards the bed, placed his candle a good way off from me on the floor in one corner (put his candle down a good way from me on the floor in one corner), and then began working away at the knotted cords of the large bag I before spoke of (and then set to work on the knotted cords of the big bag I mentioned before) as being in the room. I was all eagerness to see his face, but he kept it averted for some time (I was desperate to see his face, but he kept it turned away for some time) while employed in unlacing the bag’s mouth (while he was busy undoing the mouth of the bag). This accomplished, however, he turned round (Once that was done, though, he turned round)—when, good heavens! what a sight! Such a face! It was of a dark, purplish, yellow colour, here and there stuck over with large blackish looking squares (It was a dark, purplish, yellow colour, with big blackish-looking squares stuck over it here and there). Yes, it’s just as I thought, he’s a terrible bedfellow (he is a dreadful person to share a bed with); he’s been in a fight, got dreadfully cut, and here he is, just from the surgeon (he has been in a fight, been badly cut, and here he is, straight from the doctor). But at that moment he chanced to turn his face so towards the light (But at that moment he happened to turn his face towards the light), that I plainly saw they could not be sticking-plasters at all (that I saw clearly they could not be bandages at all), those black squares on his cheeks. They were stains of some sort or other (They were marks of some kind). At first I knew not what to make of this; but soon an inkling of the truth occurred to me (but soon a hint of the truth came to me). I remembered a story of a white man—a whaleman too—who, falling among the cannibals, had been tattooed by them (who, falling in with man-eaters, had been marked all over by them with ink under the skin). I concluded that this harpooneer, in the course of his distant voyages, must have met with a similar adventure (in the course of his far-off voyages, must have met with something of the same kind). And what is it, thought I, after all! It’s only his outside; a man can be honest in any sort of skin (It is only the outside of him, a man can be honest in any sort of skin). But then, what to make of his unearthly complexion (But then, what to make of the unnatural colour of his skin), that part of it, I mean, lying round about, and completely independent of the squares of tattooing (and quite apart from the inked squares). To be sure, it might be nothing but a good coat of tropical tanning (it might be nothing but a thick layer of browning from a hot country sun); but I never heard of a hot sun’s tanning a white man into a purplish yellow one (but I never heard of a hot sun browning a white man into a purplish yellow one). However, I had never been in the South Seas; and perhaps the sun there produced these extraordinary effects upon the skin (perhaps the sun there worked these remarkable effects on the skin). Now, while all these ideas were passing through me like lightning (Now, while all these thoughts were shooting through me like lightning), this harpooneer never noticed me at all. But, after some difficulty having opened his bag, he commenced fumbling in it, and presently pulled out a sort of tomahawk (he began groping about in it and soon pulled out a sort of light axe), and a seal-skin wallet with the hair on (and a sealskin pouch with the fur still on it). Placing these on the old chest in the middle of the room, he then took the New Zealand head—a ghastly thing enough (a horrible thing it was too)—and crammed it down into the bag (and stuffed it down into the bag). He now took off his hat—a new beaver hat (He now took off his hat, a new tall one made of animal fur)—when I came nigh singing out with fresh surprise (when I nearly cried out again in surprise). There was no hair on his head—none to speak of at least—nothing but a small scalp-knot twisted up on his forehead (nothing but a small knot of hair twisted up on his forehead). His bald purplish head now looked for all the world like a mildewed skull (His bald purplish head now looked for all the world like a skull gone mouldy). Had not the stranger stood between me and the door (If the stranger had not been standing between me and the door), I would have bolted out of it quicker than ever I bolted a dinner (I would have shot out of it faster than I ever swallowed a dinner).

Even as it was, I thought something of slipping out of the window, but it was the second floor back (I half thought of getting out of the window, but it was at the back on the second floor up). I am no coward, but what to make of this head-peddling purple rascal altogether passed my comprehension (but what to make of this head-selling purple rogue was completely beyond me). Ignorance is the parent of fear (Not knowing is what gives birth to fear), and being completely nonplussed and confounded about the stranger (and being completely stumped and baffled about the stranger), I confess I was now as much afraid of him as if it was the devil himself who had thus broken into my room at the dead of night (as if it were the devil himself who had broken into my room in the middle of the night). In fact, I was so afraid of him that I was not game enough just then to address him (I did not have the nerve just then to speak to him), and demand a satisfactory answer concerning what seemed inexplicable in him (and demand a proper answer about what seemed impossible to explain in him).

Meanwhile, he continued the business of undressing, and at last showed his chest and arms (he went on with the business of undressing, and at last his chest and arms came into view). As I live, these covered parts of him were checkered with the same squares as his face (the parts of him that had been covered were marked in the same squares as his face); his back, too, was all over the same dark squares; he seemed to have been in a Thirty Years’ War (he looked as if he had been through a war lasting thirty years), and just escaped from it with a sticking-plaster shirt (and just got out of it wearing a shirt made of bandages). Still more, his very legs were marked, as if a parcel of dark green frogs were running up the trunks of young palms (as if a lot of dark green frogs were running up the trunks of young palm trees). It was now quite plain that he must be some abominable savage or other shipped aboard of a whaleman in the South Seas (he had to be some hateful wild man or other taken on board a whaling ship in the southern seas), and so landed in this Christian country (and so brought ashore in this Christian country). I quaked to think of it (I shook at the thought). A peddler of heads too (A seller of heads too)—perhaps the heads of his own brothers (perhaps the heads of his own brothers). He might take a fancy to mine (He might take a liking to mine)—heavens! look at that tomahawk! (look at that light axe!)

But there was no time for shuddering (But there was no time for shaking with fear), for now the savage went about something that completely fascinated my attention (because now the wild man set about something that completely took hold of my attention), and convinced me that he must indeed be a heathen (and convinced me that he really must be a worshipper of other gods). Going to his heavy grego, or wrapall, or dreadnaught (Going to his heavy sailor’s coat, whatever name you give it), which he had previously hung on a chair, he fumbled in the pockets, and produced at length a curious little deformed image (he felt about in the pockets and at last brought out a strange little figure of odd shape) with a hunch on its back, and exactly the colour of a three days’ old Congo baby (with a hump on its back, and exactly the colour of a three-day-old African baby). Remembering the embalmed head (Remembering the preserved head), at first I almost thought that this black manikin was a real baby preserved in some similar manner (at first I nearly thought this little black figure was a real baby kept from rotting in some such way). But seeing that it was not at all limber (But seeing that it was not at all soft and bendy), and that it glistened a good deal like polished ebony (and that it shone a good deal like polished black wood), I concluded that it must be nothing but a wooden idol, which indeed it proved to be (I decided it must be nothing but a wooden god figure, which is exactly what it turned out to be). For now the savage goes up to the empty fire-place, and removing the papered fire-board, sets up this little hunch-backed image, like a tenpin, between the andirons (and taking away the papered board across the fireplace, stands this little hump-backed figure up like a bowling pin between the iron bars that hold the logs). The chimney jambs and all the bricks inside were very sooty (The chimney sides and all the bricks inside were black with soot), so that I thought this fire-place made a very appropriate little shrine or chapel for his Congo idol (so I thought this fireplace made a very fitting little holy place for his African god).

I now screwed my eyes hard towards the half hidden image (I now strained my eyes hard towards the half hidden figure), feeling but ill at ease meantime (feeling far from comfortable in the meantime)—to see what was next to follow. First he takes about a double handful of shavings out of his grego pocket (First he takes about two handfuls of wood curls out of his coat pocket), and places them carefully before the idol; then laying a bit of ship biscuit on top and applying the flame from the lamp (then laying a bit of hard ship’s bread on top and putting the flame of the lamp to it), he kindled the shavings into a sacrificial blaze (he lit the wood curls into a fire offered up to his god). Presently, after many hasty snatches into the fire, and still hastier withdrawals of his fingers (Soon, after many quick grabs into the fire and even quicker pulling back of his fingers) (whereby he seemed to be scorching them badly (by which he seemed to be burning them badly)), he at last succeeded in drawing out the biscuit (he at last managed to pull out the hard bread); then blowing off the heat and ashes a little, he made a polite offer of it to the little negro (he politely offered it to the little black figure). But the little devil did not seem to fancy such dry sort of fare at all (But the little imp did not seem to care for such dry food at all); he never moved his lips. All these strange antics were accompanied by still stranger guttural noises from the devotee (All these strange goings-on came with even stranger throaty noises from the worshipper), who seemed to be praying in a sing-song or else singing some pagan psalmody or other (who seemed to be praying in a chant or else singing some heathen hymn or other), during which his face twitched about in the most unnatural manner (while his face jerked about in the most unnatural way). At last extinguishing the fire, he took the idol up very unceremoniously (At last, putting the fire out, he picked the god figure up without the least ceremony), and bagged it again in his grego pocket as carelessly as if he were a sportsman bagging a dead woodcock (and dropped it back into his coat pocket as carelessly as a hunter putting a dead bird into his bag).

All these queer proceedings increased my uncomfortableness (All these odd goings-on made me more uneasy), and seeing him now exhibiting strong symptoms of concluding his business operations (and seeing him now showing clear signs of finishing off what he was doing), and jumping into bed with me, I thought it was high time, now or never (and about to jump into bed with me, I thought it was high time, now or never), before the light was put out, to break the spell in which I had so long been bound (before the light went out, to break the spell that had held me so long).

But the interval I spent in deliberating what to say, was a fatal one (But the time I spent thinking over what to say proved fatal). Taking up his tomahawk from the table (Picking up his light axe from the table), he examined the head of it for an instant (he looked at the head of it for a moment), and then holding it to the light, with his mouth at the handle, he puffed out great clouds of tobacco smoke (with his mouth at the handle, he blew out great clouds of tobacco smoke). The next moment the light was extinguished (The next moment the light went out), and this wild cannibal, tomahawk between his teeth, sprang into bed with me (and this wild man-eater, axe between his teeth, jumped into bed with me). I sang out, I could not help it now (I cried out, I could not stop myself now); and giving a sudden grunt of astonishment he began feeling me (and with a sudden grunt of surprise he began feeling me over).

Stammering out something, I knew not what (Stuttering out something, I did not know what), I rolled away from him against the wall, and then conjured him, whoever or whatever he might be, to keep quiet (and then begged him, whoever or whatever he might be, to keep still), and let me get up and light the lamp again. But his guttural responses satisfied me at once that he but ill comprehended my meaning (But his throaty answers convinced me at once that he hardly understood what I meant).

“Who-e debel you? (Who the devil are you?)”—he at last said—“you no speak-e, dam-me, I kill-e (if you do not speak, damn me, I kill you).” And so saying the lighted tomahawk began flourishing about me in the dark (the lit axe began waving about round me in the dark).

“Landlord, for God’s sake, Peter Coffin! (Peter Coffin, the innkeeper!)” shouted I. “Landlord! Watch! Coffin! Angels! save me! (Night watchman! Coffin! Angels! save me!)”

“Speak-e! (Speak!) tell-ee me who-ee be, or dam-me, I kill-e! (tell me who you are, or damn me, I kill you!)” again growled the cannibal (the man-eater said again in a deep angry voice), while his horrid flourishings of the tomahawk scattered the hot tobacco ashes about me (while his horrible waving of the axe scattered the hot tobacco ash over me) till I thought my linen would get on fire (until I thought my shirt would catch fire). But thank heaven, at that moment the landlord came into the room light in hand, and leaping from the bed I ran up to him (and jumping out of the bed I ran over to him).

“Don’t be afraid now,” said he, grinning again, “Queequeg here wouldn’t harm a hair of your head (Queequeg here, that is his name, would not hurt a hair of your head).”

“Stop your grinning,” shouted I, “and why didn’t you tell me that that infernal harpooneer was a cannibal? (why did you not tell me that hellish spear man was a man-eater?)”

“I thought ye know’d it (I thought you knew);—didn’t I tell ye, he was a peddlin’ heads around town? (did I not tell you he was selling heads round the town?)—but turn flukes again and go to sleep (but turn in again and go to sleep). Queequeg, look here—you sabbee me, I sabbee (you understand me, I understand)—you this man sleepe you (this man sleeps with you)—you sabbee?”

“Me sabbee plenty (I understand plenty)”—grunted Queequeg, puffing away at his pipe and sitting up in bed (Queequeg grunted, puffing at his pipe and sitting up in bed).

“You gettee in (You get in),” he added, motioning to me with his tomahawk, and throwing the clothes to one side (signalling to me with his axe and throwing the bedclothes to one side). He really did this in not only a civil but a really kind and charitable way (He really did this in a way that was not only polite but genuinely kind and generous). I stood looking at him a moment. For all his tattooings he was on the whole a clean, comely looking cannibal (For all his skin markings he was on the whole a clean, good-looking man-eater). What’s all this fuss I have been making about, thought I to myself—the man’s a human being just as I am (the man is a human being just as I am): he has just as much reason to fear me, as I have to be afraid of him. Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian (Better to share a bed with a sober man-eater than with a drunken Christian).

“Landlord,” said I, “tell him to stash his tomahawk there, or pipe, or whatever you call it (tell him to put away his axe there, or pipe, or whatever you call it); tell him to stop smoking, in short, and I will turn in with him (and I will get into bed with him). But I don’t fancy having a man smoking in bed with me (But I do not like the idea of a man smoking in bed with me). It’s dangerous. Besides, I ain’t insured (Besides, I have no insurance).”

This being told to Queequeg, he at once complied (When this was told to Queequeg he did as he was asked at once), and again politely motioned me to get into bed (and again politely signalled me to get into bed)—rolling over to one side as much as to say (rolling over to one side as if to say)—“I won’t touch a leg of ye (I will not touch a leg of you).”

“Good night, landlord,” said I, “you may go.”

I turned in, and never slept better in my life (I got into bed and never slept better in my life).